I stopped using these 7 salary negotiation advice
And why you're probably getting it wrong. A proven playbook for you.
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Q: How do you negotiate for a salary you want (without pissing them off and losing the offer)?
I'm not great at negotiating, and I know you're not either. Why can't you tell me the price, and then we can move on? Why do we need to play this game?? Well, the reason we have to play this game is because, like it or not, everyone else is playing it. And you’re probably losing — on salary, equity, and promotions.
How many of these “negotiation commandments” have you heard?
You should never disclose your salary or your requirements first
When your offer is too low, negotiate up
Splitting the difference always works in your favor
Without competing offers, you have no leverage
Always negotiate hard
Policies are never negotiable
Contracts are only negotiable if you’re a superstar
The problem is that they’re all wrong—some, all the time; others, some of the time.
Myth 1: You should never disclose your salary or your requirements first
There’s this long-held belief that you should never be the first to mention salary in an interview. But if the role already has a listed salary range and you’re okay with it, there’s no harm in being upfront. Still, I’ve seen far too many people waste weeks in interview processes only to be hit with an offer way below their expectations.
It’s like trial lawyers say: never ask a question you don’t already know the answer to. The job-hunting version of that is: never invest time in a role without some idea of the pay on the table.
So, what do you do? If you’re invited to an interview, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask, “Could you share the salary and bonus range for this position?” From there, you’re looking at one of three outcomes:
If the range is lower than what you’re aiming for: thank them for their time and politely let them know you’re targeting a range of X-Y. Sometimes they’ll come back with a more flexible offer—now you’ve got the upper hand.
If the range works for you: respond with something like, “Great, and I assume there’s some flexibility depending on the candidate?”—not a question, but a statement. You’re subtly signaling your value and setting up better leverage for later negotiations.
If the offer exceeds your expectations: they probably know it. Don’t overplay your hand here. A simple “Thanks, I’m interested in moving forward” is all you need to keep the momentum going without coming off as difficult.
What if they don’t share a number and instead ask what you’re looking for? Never give a single figure. Instead, offer a flexible range—if you’re targeting $140K, say something like $150K-$170K.
The key here is your lowest number should still be a bit higher than your actual target. This gives you room to negotiate while maintaining credibility. They’ll likely treat your lowest number as your real ask, but there’s a good chance they’ll offer something in the middle, like $160K, to avoid “insulting” you.
And if they push back, saying your range isn’t reasonable, but you know your worth? Thank them for their time and move on.
Myth 2: When your offer is too low, negotiate up
Well, I know this sounds obvious but hear me out.
First, don’t feel pressured to negotiate if the offer is way off from what you want. If the salary is close, and the benefits, perks, and growth opportunities are solid, sure—go ahead and negotiate.
But if the gap is wide? You need to walk away. A clear and respectful decline works best:
“Thank you for the offer. I have a lot of respect for your company, but unfortunately, the compensation isn’t where it needs to be for me to proceed.”
Be firm and avoid soft language like “maybe,” “I hope,” or “could you possibly.” This puts the responsibility back on them. If they really want you and have room in their budget, they’ll come back with a better offer, either at that moment or down the line. When they do, you’re in a much stronger position.
It helps if you’ve set an anchor earlier in the process by discussing your desired range. You can say something like, “As I mentioned, my target for this role is $150K-$170K. I’m disappointed that the offer doesn’t meet that, so I can’t move forward.”
Simple, direct, and now the ball’s in their court.
Myth 3: Splitting the difference works in your favor
Splitting the difference can be a smart move, but only if you’re in the right position. Here’s how it works:
Let’s say you’d be happy with a $140K salary, but you’ve told them $160K, and they come back with $140K. In this case, you can suggest, “How about we meet in the middle?” You’d be surprised how often that approach succeeds.
The key to making this work is starting by asking for more than what you’re comfortable with, so the compromise still leaves you satisfied.
Now, what if you’re asking for $170K and they offer $140K? That’s a much bigger gap, and splitting the difference here ($155K) doesn’t make sense. In this situation, it’s better to flat-out decline the offer: “Thanks, but $140K isn’t going to work for me.” This forces them to come back with a better offer on their own, without you making concessions too early.
And remember, if you’re in a senior role like a principal designer or executive, the numbers will scale—maybe $300K-$500K instead. In those cases, the strategy still applies: wait for them to raise their offer before considering any compromise.
Myth 4: Without competing offers, you have no leverage
While you shouldn’t make up stories about having multiple offers, your interviewers have no idea who else you might be talking to. If they want to assume you’re in high demand, let them run with that idea.
A good way to frame it is to say, “I’m currently involved in several ongoing discussions, including this one.” That’s still true, even if you’ve only got one offer or are simply expecting another one in the coming weeks. And remember, expecting an offer isn’t the same as having one—things don’t always go as planned. But if they really want you, they’ll be thinking, “What can we do to secure you now?”
Also, keep in mind that if they’ve already made you an offer, it’s because they want you for some reason. Maybe they think they’re getting a bargain. If that’s the case, you already know how to handle it—push back politely but firmly. And if they’re unwilling to budge, ask yourself: do you really want to work for a company that’s looking for the cheapest option, unless there’s another benefit, like the chance to work under an industry-leading CPO?
On the flip side, if they don’t think you’re a “budget hire,” they see your value—and that’s your leverage.
Myth 5: Always negotiate harder
The advice to “always negotiate hard” doesn’t work universally.
You might get more, but if you push too hard with the wrong person, you could lose everything. The real skill is knowing who you’re negotiating with and adjusting your approach. If you can, talk to colleagues or contacts who’ve negotiated with this person before. Many negotiators have their own patterns or styles that you can use to your advantage.
For some negotiators, pushing too hard is the kiss of goodbye. Here’s a classic example of Steve Jobs negotiating at Apple, a powerful strategy: